Maybe This Time Read online

  “Just wanted to settle in,” I say, blushing. Trust my dad to get straight to the point.

  “I didn’t even see you last year for your birthday, Summer, it’s been two years since I’ve seen my own daughter,” he says, brows furrowing.

  I shrug, because I have no idea what he expects me to say to that.

  “How’s Xander treating you?” he asks, thankfully changing the subject.

  “He’s wonderful,” I say, a smile forming on my lips. My brother makes me feel welcome here, and I feel like I’ve known him my whole life.

  “He loves you.” I nod, giving him a forced smile. He tells me Xander loves me, but not him. Again, I have no idea what to say. He exhales, a look of regret and sadness flashing in his eyes.

  “If you ever need anything, you come to me, okay?” he says, his dark brown eyes staring into mine.

  I nod and force a smile. He scowls, and stares at me like he wants to say something else, but doesn’t. He gives me a pained smile, and then leaves.

  As soon as the door closes, I sag onto the bed, relieved. I didn’t have a father my whole life, and I don’t intend on having one now. Not that I don’t love him, because I do. But it hurts, even after all these years.

  Truth be told, I’m scared to let him in. He wasn’t there for me, no matter how much I wished for it. I didn’t want any money or gifts from him, I just wanted him. I wanted him to be there for my graduation, for my sports carnivals and dance recitals. I used to imagine him being there in the audience one day, watching me, but it never happened. He let me down each time, because he never came. That was the hardest, starting to believe what my mother told me, that it was true - maybe he didn’t want me.

  After everything, it’s just a little unnerving being in his presence. I still feel like that little girl who wants his attention. If Xander wasn’t here, I wouldn’t have come at all.

  I wouldn’t have felt that I was welcome.

  Chapter Three

  The next day, I open the door, surprised to see Reid standing there. And that he actually knocked for once.

  “You knocked,” I say, stepping aside for him to enter.

  “Yeah, well, it was locked for once.” He grins at me. Oh, right.

  I walk in front of him to the kitchen. “Xander’s not here.”

  “Where did he go?” he asks, opening the fridge and helping himself to a bottle of water.

  “Gym.”

  “Right, I’m heading there now so I’ll catch up with him then,” he says, his eyebrows scrunching together.

  “Are you okay?” I ask.

  “Yeah. How are you settling in?” he asks, looking like he genuinely wants to know.

  “Great, actually. Feels like I’ve known Xander my entire life.” I smile fondly, thinking about my brother.

  “Yeah, he can’t stop talking about you,” Reid says, running his finger absently along his scarred jaw line. “Do you maybe want to…” he trails off, staring at me.

  “What?” I ask warily, when his gaze doesn’t budge.

  He clears his throat. “You look… beautiful today.”

  Wait, did he just say that? “Umm. Thank you,” I reply, looking down at my frayed denim shorts and white singlet top. I glance up to see his eyes on my thighs.

  “Reid,” I say, smiling when he trails his gaze from my thighs to my face, his perusal bold. “Not one for subtlety, are you?”

  He leans down onto the kitchen bench, his lip twitching. “I can’t help it. It’s been so long since I’ve seen something I wanted this bad.”

  “Umm,” I mumble, the look on his face leaving me incoherent. I don’t think any man has ever looked at me like that. Like he’s dying of thirst and I’m the iced water. I shift on my feet under his scrutiny.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” I finally reply, leaning on the bench, so our elbows are almost touching.

  He tilts his head, regarding me. “I told you… trouble.”

  I roll my eyes. “How so?”

  “I’m standing here right now, watching you. Pretended I came here to see Xander, when I knew he was already gone, just so I could get a few minutes alone with you. I can’t seem to stop thinking about you. Trouble.”

  My eyes widen in surprise. “You came here to see me?”

  “I did, and now I can see it was a mistake. You’re not for me, Summer, I shouldn’t have come here,” he says, pulling back to stand straight. His eyes are now shuttered, his expression closed off.

  Having no idea what to say to that, I stay quiet.

  “I gotta head to the gym,” he says, turning his back on me and leaving.

  *****

  My first week living with Xander passes quickly. He goes to work, or goes to the gym with the guys. Most days they come here to hang out, and I cook us all dinner. They act like they haven’t had a home cooked meal in years, and it feels good to be making myself useful in the house.

  Reid doesn’t come over as much as Dash and Ryan, and when he does, he's his usual charming self. We never mention him coming to see me. Sometimes I catch him staring at me when he thinks I’m not looking, but then his trademark scowl takes over, and then I think I imagined the moment we had when he came over altogether.

  I glance down and look at the newspaper once more, hoping I missed something. There are hardly any jobs available for an unskilled worker like me. I was hoping for a waitressing job or something like that, any place that would take me on.

  Giving up on the job ads, I decide to fill out my application for the course I want to do. After changing my mind several times, I’ve settled on nursing. I’ve heard it’s a very competitive course to get into, but I have good high school grades, so hopefully it will be enough for me to gain entry to the Tafe course. After that I can continue on to University, which is my plan.

  “What are you doing?” Xander asks as he walks in, shirtless and sweaty. He went for a run about an hour ago. That must have been one long ass run.

  “I was looking for a job, but nothing. So now I’m filling out the Tafe forms,” I tell him, looking back down at the application.

  “Why don’t you ask Reid or Ryan for a job?” he says, shrugging like it’s no big deal.

  “Why would I ask them?”

  “They own a bar. You could work there whenever you wanted, it'd be flexible for you with school, and there'd be people there to keep an eye on you,” he says, lifting a brow.

  “I didn’t know they owned a bar,” I grumble, not wanting to ask Reid for anything. “And why do I need someone to keep an eye on me?”

  Xander shrugs. “Dad has a motorcycle shop you could work in, too. I work there a few days a week. And because you’re beautiful, and new to town.”

  My eyes widen. That I did not know. Why did he seem so evasive about it before? “I’m sure I’ll find something, and I don’t need a babysitter.”

  “Stubborn.” He chuckles. “The Kanes are all stubborn.”

  “Apparently.”

  “Yep, it’s a fact,” he says, smiling.

  “I’m sure the Kanes are a lot of things,” I say with a smirk.

  “Yeah, all good things, of course.”

  I roll my eyes at him.

  A knock on the door disturbs our banter, and Xander goes to answer it. As soon as he says the words ‘hey, mum’ I freeze. I don’t want to meet his mother. I quickly stand and head towards my room. I’m halfway there, almost safe, when Xander calls out my name.

  “Summer, come meet my mum,” he says. I close my eyes for a second, before turning around. I try to smile but I think it comes out more like a grimace.

  “Mum, this is Summer. Summer, this is my mum, Daria,” he introduces. She is pretty, with mousy brown hair and clear blue eyes. She’s a little on the thin side, and looks to be in her late forties or early fifties.

  “Nice to meet you,” I say, hoping they'll start to talk so I can sneak away. All I can think is, this is the woman my dad cheated with when he was married to my mother. I don’t know how to feel. Daria’s eyes seem kind as she watches me, before she finally speaks.

  "Nice to meet you too, Summer, I’ve heard so much about you over the years.”

  “Really?” I manage to say, feeling surprised. I wouldn’t have thought they would have discussed me at all. My eyes dart to my brother. He must see the look on my face because he frowns, and then starts to take Daria into the kitchen, offering her some coffee.

  He glances back at me, so I attempt another smile before walking back into my room and quietly closing the door. She might have heard about me, but I’ve heard nothing about her except that she’s a home wrecker.

  Xander walks into my room an hour later without knocking. “What was that?” he asks, sounding confused, and a little angry.

  “What was what?” I ask, closing my laptop.

  “You looked at my mum like she was the devil,” he says dryly.

  “I don’t know, I just don’t know her,” I lie.

  “Summer, she’s a nice person. She'll take care of you if you let her,” he says, his voice gentling.

  I can just imagine my mother turning in her grave right now.

  “I don’t need a replacement mother,” I snap, losing my patience with the topic.

  “Fuck, I know. I didn’t mean that. You just looked upset, and…” he trails off, a look of realisation taking over his expression. “You’re holding a grudge over something that happened what, nineteen years ago?”

  “If dad didn’t cheat with her, maybe I would have actually had a father growing up,” I tell him, deciding to be honest. I know my feelings aren’t fair. But that doesn't change the fact that I have them.

  “So, you'd rather I wasn’t born at all,” he snaps back at me, making me wince. I didn’t even think of that. In fact, I was just thinking of myself, no one else.

  “Of course not, Xander,” I say, rubbing my palm on my forehead.

  He doesn’t say anything, so I try again.

  “I’ll try next time, okay. I can’t help how I feel, Xander, but I’ll try,” I promise him.

  “Okay,” he says, seemingly satisfied. We hear a knock on the door and Xander leaves to answer it.

  I prop the pillows up, and lay back on them so I’m in a sitting position. Opening my laptop, I start to check my emails when Reid walks in. The door was left open, so he clearly didn’t feel the need to knock. He’s wearing basketball shorts, a tight white V neck T-shirt and sneakers.

  “Hey,” he says, a little warily.

  “Hey.”

  “You okay?” he asks, looking concerned.

  “I’m fine, why?” I ask. “You can sit down,” I offer, pointing to the end of my bed. He hesitantly sits down, then looks back at me.

  “Xander said you were upset about something,” he says kindly. He sounds genuine, like he really cares about what I have to say.

  “I’ll be okay, I’m just trying to be a better person and not let my mother control or define my actions anymore,” I say honestly. As it leaves my mouth, I can’t believe I told him that. It's one of the most honest things I’ve ever said.

  He nods, like he understands. “The fact that you’re acknowledging it is a step in the right direction.”

  “I guess so. It’s just messing with my mind right now,” I admit.

  “Trust me, I know the feeling,” he says, scowling a little.

  “I just don’t want to hurt Xander. It’s hard, though, when you grow up being told one thing, and then you find out it’s not the truth at all.”

  “You’re a good girl, Summer, forget about what you’ve been told. Start fresh and figure it out for yourself. Things aren’t always what they seem,” he says, looking down at the floor.

  “You’re being nice again, why?” I ask, closing my laptop.

  He smirks. “Calling me out, are you?”

  “Yeah, well, the hot and cold act is really getting old,” I say, pursing my lips.

  He nods twice. “Yeah, it would, wouldn’t it? Look, I have a lot of shit going on in my life right now. I’m not in a good place. That doesn’t mean I don’t… care about you.”

  Then he stands up and walks away.

  *****

  “Get dressed, I’m taking you out.” Xander says the next day when he walks into my room. "Dress in workout clothes," he adds before he closes the door.

  ‘Out’ ends up being me going with him to his gym. The gym is a warehouse, but it looks pretty decent. It has an octagon shaped cage, a boxing ring, and then a section with weights, a treadmill and other gym equipment.

  I blink twice as I take in Ryan and Reid, boxing in the ring. They're both wearing nothing but basketball shorts and boxing gloves, oh my. I can’t seem to tear my gaze from Reid, his body slick with sweat, his muscles rippling with every movement. I don’t even know how I can tell which one Reid is from here, but I can. Reid purposely trips Ryan over, and I can hear them both laughing. They're obviously just messing around.

  “What’s with the weird shaped boxing ring?” I ask, curious.

  Xander eyes me for a second before replying. “We like to fight.”

  “I can see that,” I murmur, my eyes still locked onto Reid. I notice that Reid and Ryan have similar tattoos that start from their shoulder and finish above their elbows.

  “Quit drooling, Sum.’ Xander chuckles. I don’t even bother denying it.

  “Come on, this is women’s porn right here,” I tell him, swallowing hard when Reid throws off the gloves and runs his hand through his hair.

  His impressive back is to me and I watch his muscles flex as he lifts his hands up behind his neck, talking with his brother.

  “Ryan isn’t the settling down type.” He smirks. Who said I was checking out Ryan?

  “And Reid?” I ask, trying to act casual.

  Xander laughs, and I wince knowing this isn’t gonna be good. “Reid screws around less than Ryan. A lot less. He has a couple of fuck buddies he sticks to, but they know the deal. No commitment, no emotional attachment. He’s cold, sis. Please tell me you’re just asking out of curiosity, not interest.”

  I look at Xander and roll my eyes. “Of course I’m just curious. A man like that would eat me alive.” And he would.

  I hope.

  Oh, hell.

  “Good,” Xander says, sounding relieved. “Come on, get on the treadmill.”

  “Are you hinting that you think I’m fat?” I gasp, just to annoy him.

  Xander cringes, instantly backpedalling. “Of course not. You’re perfect, but you still needa exercise. I thought we could teach you some self-defence, too.”

  “That actually sounds fun.” I always wanted to learn self-defence. In the world we live in, every woman should know how to defend herself.

  The twins walk down towards us. I stare at Reid. Seriously. Shorts slung so low I can see the sexy V of his hips. Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, he looks like a sexy Viking.

  “What's she doing here?” Reid demands. Of course he has to open his mouth and ruin it.

  “She is right here, and can talk for herself,” I snap. His eyes connect with mine, and I can sense his irritation, and his… lust.

  Shit.

  “She’s allowed to use the gym, Reid. It does belong to her father,” Xander says calmly, slapping Ryan on the back in greeting as he walks towards the equipment.

  “It does?” This is news to me. Reid’s gaze softens slightly, probably feeling sorry for me because I know nothing about my own father.

  I don’t want or need his sympathy.

  “Hey, Ryan,” I greet, taking off my jacket, and putting it in the corner with my phone.

  “Hey, Summer,” he says, his eyes roaming over my black tights and tank top. They leave nothing to the imagination, even though most of my skin is covered, you can still see the shape of my figure. I suddenly feel a little self-conscious, so I walk in the direction Xander went. I can feel two matching sets of eyes on me as I walk away. Xander is on the phone, having a hushed conversation with someone, as I get on the treadmill and set it to a slow pace.

  A very slow pace.

  I used to dance in school, and that's the only form of exercise I’m really used to.

  “Summer, I gotta go,” Xander says, looking distracted.

  “What? Why?”

  “Jack rang, he needs me for something. I’ll tell the twins to keep an eye on you,” he says, kissing me on the forehead before leaving. He says something to Reid and Ryan, and to my dismay, Ryan leaves with him. They leave in a rush. I hope everything is alright. Reid walks over, looking put out that he has to babysit me.

  The feeling is mutual.

  “They had to go, so I’ll take you home when you’re done,” he says, getting on the treadmill next to mine. Great, now I have to run right next to him. I layered on two sport bras hoping they would contain my breasts. Reid is about to have a first row seat to my DDs jiggling and bouncing as I jog. We exercise in silence for a few minutes, until I hear a soft groan escape Reid’s mouth. I turn to look at him only to catch his eyes on my boobs.

  “Enjoying yourself?” I ask sweetly, laughing when he looks up sheepishly.

  “You have nice tits,” he says, shrugging.

  “How romantic,” I say dryly, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “What? You were blessed in that department.”

  “Thanks… I think,” I say, a flush working up my neck.

  After twenty minutes I’ve had enough, and Reid sighs.

  “Twenty minutes? That’s how much stamina you have?”

  “Depends on what I’m doing,” I say with a grin.

  Reid shakes his head, like he doesn’t know what to do with me. I have a few ideas in mind I could share, if he’s interested.

  “Come on, I’ll teach you a few moves.” He gestures to the ring. I’m shocked when he grips me by the hips from behind, helping me up. Just a simple touch from him makes me shiver. I look down, not wanting him to see how he affects me. If he can make me feel like that with just one touch… Fuck.

  He shows me a few different self-defence moves, and how to throw a punch. My heart races, and not just from the physical exertion.

  “With all of us around you’re gonna be safe, but I guess it’s good to know, right?” Reid says after he takes a sip from his water bottle. I stupidly didn’t think to bring one, so he offers me his.