Saint Read online

  “I did.” She beams, standing up from the oven and turning to me. “I made everything except the cake. Can you call Logan and see where he is? I was thinking we could sing happy birthday to him the second he walks through the door.”

  It’s kind of weird being at a birthday party without the birthday boy, so I agree to call him and see where he is, not that the men here need a reason to party. It will be nice to see Logan, even though he doesn’t love being at the clubhouse. He always looked after me growing up, and I do love and miss him. I think because he was the firstborn child, my mom does seem to make more of an effort with him and hates that he has this new life without us. She tries everything to get him to come around more.

  “How old is he today again?” I ask, wrinkling my nose and pulling out my new phone from my jean pocket.

  “Twenty-nine,” she replies, eyes widening. “Wow, I almost have a thirty-year-old.”

  I hit Logan’s name and listen to it ring and go to voicemail. “He’s not answering.”

  “Must be driving,” she replies absently.

  “Anything else you need me to do?” I ask her, looking around the kitchen.

  I have a weird relationship with my mom. We get along, but at the same time we’re not very close. We don’t seem to understand each other or have any type of the connection I’ve seen some of my friends have with their mothers. I’ve always gotten the impression that she wished she had all boys, maybe because she seems to favor all of them. Either way, I’m definitely not her favorite child. In fact, I’m most likely her least.

  Hammer makes up for it, though. He is always there for me when I need him, making sure I’m okay and spending time with me. He teaches me new things, laughs at my jokes and is slow to anger. I appreciate him more than he knows.

  “No, I’ve got it under control, Sky. You can keep trying to get in touch with Logan, though,” she says, her focus already shifting to whatever dish she’s fussing over now.

  “Okay,” I reply, heading for the living room, and dropping down onto the couch, trying my brother again. When he still doesn’t pick up, I expel a deep sigh and rest my head back on the velvet pillow.

  “Come here to hide out too?” asks Temper, my dad’s friend and the Vice President of the Knights.

  “Oh my god,” I groan, hand on my heart. “You scared the shit out of me, Temper. Jesus Christ.”

  He simply grins, arching his brow at me in an amused manner from where he’s perched on the opposite couch. “You allowed to cuss now?”

  I stick my tongue out at him. “I’m almost grown now, man. I can do what I want, when I want.”

  We both share a laugh, because we know just how untrue that happens to be.

  “You’re funny,” he says, brown eyes smiling. “You know that? I don’t know where you got your personality, because it definitely wasn’t from your mother.”

  I laugh out loud. “Yeah, she’s not the funniest woman I’ve ever met.”

  In fact, I don’t think she’s ever told a joke or made me laugh uncontrollably. That’s more my dad’s job, or even Saint’s. Saint can be pretty funny when he wants to be, and has a quiet yet dry type of humor, which I can appreciate.

  “I’m funny and cute,” I add, batting my lashes slowly. “How lucky I am.”

  Temper throws a pillow at me. “Try that shit in a few years, and I’m sure you’ll have all the men on their knees.” He pauses, and then adds, “Actually, none of the Knights, but you know, other men.”

  His comment strikes a chord with me. I’ve never wanted just anyone. The only man I have my eyes on happens to be in this clubhouse right now. They always say stuff like this to me, about how I’m going to get them all into shit, because I’m pretty and have a mouth on me, and how I’m trouble waiting to happen. I don’t think that’s the truth, though.

  I lift my chin in indignation. “Are you guys really going to let me date a man who isn’t a Knight?”

  Because I can’t see that happening. The boys at school are nothing but my friends, and it’s gotten to a point where no one even bothers to ask me out because they all know I’m going to gently refuse them. I don’t think I’m better than them in any way, I’m just not interested. I can’t help my pull toward Saint. It’s torture, and it probably won’t end well, but I can’t help how I feel about him. Temper doesn’t speak for the whole MC, and even if he would prefer I not date any of the Knights, that doesn’t mean it can’t happen.

  “Why the hell would you want to do that?” the man I was just thinking about asks as he walks in and sits next to me, the scent of his cologne hitting my nostrils and sending me into overdrive. “All the good men are right here.”

  “I don’t know about good.” Temper winces, tilting his head to the side, brown eyes studying me. “Badass, maybe. Good? Probably not.”

  None of the men inside these walls consider themselves good men. However, I’ve seen good in all of them, and continue to do so. They are kind to me, patient, and treat me as if I’m a family member. If that’s not the definition of good, then I don’t know what is, but I love them all just the way they are.

  “Everyone is good to me,” I reply on a shrug.

  “Only because Hammer would kill us if we weren’t.” Temper smirks, throwing another pillow at me.

  “Can you not?” I ask him, scowling. “I know they call you Temper, but you’re about to see mine.”

  I’ve noticed something about Temper. The men are wary of him, and always make sure never to push him too far. I’ve never seen him lose his shit, but I’ve heard the stories, and with his large build I can see why they wouldn’t want to mess with him. To me, I see him as more of the strong and silent type. He acts silly with me, and is protective, but I think that’s because he sees me as a niece or something. He keeps an eye on me, but likes giving me shit too. I like him. We have good chats and he’s someone I trust.

  Saint chuckles from next to me, and the sound brings my attention straight back to him. “Hammer raised a little hellion.”

  Saint says it like it’s a good thing, and when he looks over at me, I get lost in his blue eyes. They are my weakness, not that I’d ever admit that out loud.

  “Would you expect any different?” Temper replies in a dry tone, then glances at Saint, a contemplative look on his face. “Thought you were with Diana. What’s happening there?”

  Why does Temper have to do that? I know that everyone is a little weird about Saint and me hanging out, or even us being alone together, but nothing ever happens. We just chat and joke around. He doesn’t even flirt with me, not that I don’t try. I guess he saves that other side of himself for women like Diana.

  Saint’s blue eyes are suddenly looking everywhere except at me. “We were just chatting, that’s all.”

  “Hmmmm,” Temper replies, narrowing his gaze. He is always suspicious. Maybe he thinks something is going on with us, and I wish that were true. Unfortunately, Saint hasn’t so much as held my hand even when we’ve been alone and had the opportunity.

  “Why are you being all cryptic?” I ask, looking between the two men who are having a silent conversation. I am completely lost now. “Does Diana have an STD or something?”

  Low blow, I know, but I have to get my kicks somehow.

  Temper barks out a laugh, his wide shoulders shaking. “Fucking hell, Sky. You’re so young, you know that?” He pauses and then adds, “But maybe he should be worried about that.”

  “Seriously?” Saint mutters, jaw suddenly tense. “Thanks, Temper.”

  “Compared to you I’m young, I guess,” I reply to Temper, ignoring Saint.

  Temper laughs harder.

  “Ignore him,” Saint says to me, his voice instantly drawing me in, Temper and his shenanigans forgotten.

  I asked him once why they call him Saint when I know for a fact his name is Thorn Benson. He said it’s because compared to all the other men here, he is a Saint.

  I call bullshit.

  I might be young, and maybe even naï
ve, but I’m not stupid.

  “I always do,” I reply, snuggling back into the couch. “Logan isn’t even here, and he’s not picking up the phone. We might just be having this party in his honor, without his presence. I don’t know why Mom bothered—she knows he doesn’t even like coming here.”

  Another day, another dysfunctional family issue.

  I think Mom was hoping, even pressuring, Logan to join the Knights of Fury MC, but in the end it backfired, and now he wants nothing to do with them. She needs to let go, as he’s already chosen his own path. My mother, though, is known for her tenacity.

  “Ahh well, I’m just here for the food anyway,” Temper replies, standing up, his height making him look like a giant. “Speaking of.”

  We watch him walk away, leaving the two of us momentarily alone.

  Probably not the best idea, at least not for me, because suddenly I’m finding it hard to think of something to say. I hate how it’s become so hard for us to talk. It never used to be like this before.

  Lucky for me, Saint speaks first. “It’s not on you if your brother doesn’t show up. You know he’s not a fan of being here. I don’t know why your mom bothers with the big parties, pretending we’re all one big family.”

  “I know,” I reply, glancing down. “We should have just done something else with him. It’s like she makes it about her instead of him and what he wants.”

  “I think we all know the party is more for your mom than Logan, like you said. But Temper is right, at least there’s good food. There’s always a silver lining, and if that lining is lining my stomach I’m not going to complain.”

  Saint says this as he wraps his arm around me and kisses my temple. He can be affectionate, sometimes, but never in the way I crave. More like a big brother. Unfortunately. But I still enjoy times like these, knowing it’s more than he gives anyone else. “You’re the rose that came from concrete, do you know that?”

  I’m about to ask him exactly what he means by that when my dad walks in, barking out Saint’s name. I assume he’s about to yell at him for being so close to me, something we do avoid when he is around, but I know I’m wrong when he says something that sends a shiver up my spine.

  “Get all the men together. We have a fuckin’ problem, and we need to handle it right now.”

  And then Saint’s up, doing what he’s told, and I’m left alone wondering what the hell is going on. I know they will never tell me, though. They let me in on the good times but shield me from the bad, even though I know there is plenty of bad. Sometimes I’m curious about what’s going on, and other times I just block it out and leave them to it. This is their lives, and what do I know about how an MC works? As interested as I am, I don’t really want to know. At least not now.

  I’m just here for the family and food.

  I try Logan again and he finally picks up, and before I can say hello, he yells into the line, “I’m not fuckin’ coming, Sky. Tell Mom again, since she didn’t listen the first ten times. Thank you, and I love you.”

  He hangs up, and I stare at my phone for a few moments. Well, at least he said he loved me. I don’t know why Mom does this every time—she can’t push Logan to be a part of something he doesn’t want to. She chose the MC life, not him, and he’s old enough to do whatever the hell he wants now.

  The drama.

  Sometimes I can see why our biological fathers left us all.

  * * *

  I sleep at the clubhouse that night, which isn’t unusual, especially for weekends, but loud voices wake me up and I can tell that something is very wrong.

  When I overhear my name, I go out to the kitchen to see what all the commotion is about. My mom is at the kitchen table with Hammer opposite her, but won’t even look at me, too lost in thought.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  All conversation stops between Hammer and Mom the second they realize that I’m there, which lets me know it’s something they don’t want me to overhear. Damn, I should have stayed hidden and just listened in.

  “Go to bed, Sky,” my mom demands, tone laced with impatience and irritation. She looks away, like she expects me to just follow her orders instantly, and like I’m simply going to do as I’m told. Something in my gut tells me that something isn’t right, though, and I need to know what’s going on, especially if it involves me. Has something bad happened? Is someone hurt? My brothers? Saint?

  “I heard my name,” I explain, glancing between the two. “Is everything okay?”

  My dad won’t look at me, his eyes darting down to his hands in front of him. I don’t know why he’s remaining silent right now, when it’s so unlike him. Hammer does and says whatever he likes; it’s one of the things I love about him.

  Why won’t he look at me?

  “It’s fine,” she replies curtly, glancing over before turning her back on me once more. “This is adult business, and you need to go back to bed.”

  Adult business that apparently involves me.

  Hammer, who usually stands up for me anytime my mom gets into one of her evil moods, continues to say nothing, but his tight jaw lets me know he’s unhappy about something.

  Feeling hurt, I leave the kitchen and walk back down the hallway, except this time I stop in front of Saint’s door. I lift my hand to knock, but can’t find myself quite able to. It’s not like this is something I’ve ever done before, and I don’t know if he would appreciate it or not. If he also tells me I should just go to bed, I think I might scream. I move to turn and just head back to my room, but then the door opens.

  “Sky? What are you doing still awake?” he asks me, standing there shirtless, in nothing but some shorts. His body is amazing, muscles so defined, so deadly, he has turned himself into a weapon.

  A beautiful one.

  “Can’t sleep,” I tell him, glancing behind him with curiosity. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

  His eyes narrow slightly. “No, I’m just watching TV. Do you want to come in?”

  I look around the hallway to make sure no one is around, then nod and enter his domain. I’ve never been in his room before. He has a massive wall-mounted TV and his bed looks comfortable as hell, all black bedding and plush pillows.

  “Not what I was expecting,” I admit as I sit on the very edge of the bed and look at the TV. “What are you watching?”

  “Supernatural,” he says, leaving the door open a bit and passing me the remote. He then opens a drawer and pulls out a black T-shirt, sliding it over his head and covering the amazing view. “But we can watch whatever you want.”

  He doesn’t ask me what the hell I’m doing here, which is nice, because I don’t know if I have an answer for that. It’s almost as if I’m crossing a line here, or changing the rules on our friendship.

  “Really?” I ask, arching my brow. “Just like that, huh?”

  “Guest picks,” he replies with a smirk. “I’m giving you the remote, not my credit card; calm down, Sky.”

  I have a laugh at that. “For now,” I add cheekily.

  He shakes his head and picks me up, moving me farther onto the bed. “You don’t have to sit with one butt cheek off the bed—get yourself comfortable.”

  I do as he suggests, but don’t lie down. Instead I sit perched on a few of his pillows and look for something for us to watch. When I settle on a romantic comedy, I expect a complaint from him, but he stays quiet and lies down next to me.

  “What happened tonight?” I ask him quietly as the movie starts to play.

  “Club business, Sky,” is all he gives me. “Don’t worry, we will take care of it, like we always do.”

  “Mom and Dad were fighting, and I heard my name,” I admit to him, hoping that he can offer me some insight, or some answers. Anything.

  “I’m not sure what that was about, but you know them two, they’re always arguing about something or another,” he says, lifting the blanket up over me. “Don’t stress about it.”

  I try not to, and soon get lost in the movie
.

  It’s not long before I fall asleep, cuddled up next to him, not a worry in the world.

  * * *

  I wake up to an empty bed and screaming.

  I jump out of Saint’s bed, the last place I want to be found—not like anything happened, but it’s still not good. I rush toward the noise. My dad, Saint and my mom are yelling at each other.

  “You can’t do this!” Saint yells, starting to pace. “Hammer, you can’t let her do this!”

  “She’s my daughter,” my mom growls in a smug tone. When she sees me, she barks out, “Get your shit, Sky, we’re leaving.”

  I lock eyes with Saint, who looks panicked, and almost scared.

  “Don’t do this,” Dad pleads with her. “Leave Sky here. I’ll look after her. And you know I’ll take good care of her.”

  Confusion fills me. Leave me here? Where is Mom going? I don’t know what’s happening, but my first instinct is to scream yes, let me stay with Dad. I want that. I want to stay with Hammer. My father. The only father I’ve ever known.

  “I’m not leaving my daughter behind,” Mom sneers, lifting her chin. “She’s just your stepdaughter, Hammer, she’s not your blood, so don’t even think of trying to take her, or the police will be here before you know it. And you know what I’ll tell them, so don’t push me. You’re a dead man walking, anyway. What’s the point? I tried to help you, and you didn’t want it. Now you can deal with the consequences.”

  “That was your idea of helping me?” he growls, anger filling his gaze. “You disgust me, Georgia. And Skylar deserves so much fucking better. If you love her at all, you will leave her here! For one second stop thinking about yourself and do what is best for her.”

  “Go get your bag, Sky!” she yells once more. I rush to my room and grab my backpack, panic filling me. I hate when they fight, but it’s different this time: for the first time ever she’s not listening to anything Dad has to say, and Mom is known for giving in to whatever he wants.