Seducing the Defendant Page 9

  Not that I know when that will be. I have the freedom to do whatever I want now; I just need to figure out what that is exactly.

  Now that the case is over, I don’t have an excuse to see Jaxon. Who will initiate the next time we see each other? Will we see each other again? We don’t have a reason to, really. What if he leaves my life now? I guess I’ll just have to let him go, although I know I’ll never forget him. He’s really left his mark on me, and I know that whenever I think of him, I’ll smile. I think it’s because I’ve let him in. He made me stronger, and it’s nice to know that a man can do that. He believed in me. He helped me, and I like the way he makes me feel.

  “Good-bye, I’ll talk to you soon. Take care of yourself, okay?” I say, then hang up the phone before heading out to my garden. Today I’m going to plant some flowers. I don’t know where this green thumb is coming from, but I’m thankful for the distraction. I hate that I’ve been bringing my phone with me everywhere I go, just in case I get a call or a message from him. I hate that I keep checking it compulsively. I don’t know what else to do though, because he’s always in the back of my mind. I don’t want to make the first move, because this needs to be a two way street.

  And Jaxon Bentley is a man who fights for what he wants, so if he wants me, he’ll come and get me.

  There’s another issue I have, one that I don’t think will be a problem for a little while, but it still plays on my mind. I haven’t been sexually intimate with someone in a long time. Three years to be exact, and the last time was with Darren, and it wasn’t an experience I want to remember. After he finished, he rolled off me and told me that I was terrible in bed. Cold and frigid, and that he was surprised he managed to come at all. He never bothered with making me come. I know Darren was an asshole and would say things to hurt me, but in the back of my mind I still wonder if some aspect of that was true. What if I sleep with Jaxon, and he doesn’t like it, or I do something wrong? The thought makes me nervous. A man like him would have women throwing themselves at him. He’s good-looking, has an amazing career, and a kind heart. I know that he’d never say anything mean to me, ever, but what if I can’t satisfy him? Sex with Darren was boring, and he’d blame that on me, but maybe it was him? Maybe I should watch a video or something, to see what sex should be.

  I finish planting the flowers, then head back inside and take a quick shower before opening my laptop. What do I search? Good sex? How to have good sex? I try that one. Many links pop up, and I find myself watching a video of two people making love. Or should I say fucking. Porn. I’m watching porn for the first time ever, and to be honest, I’m a little excited about it. I feel rebellious. I grab a notepad and pen and start to make notes. I realize porn is not a realistic vision of sex, but surely I can learn something from it. Good blow job techniques? Maybe I should’ve searched that instead. I make a note to study blow job techniques, with and without a foreskin, because I need to be prepared. I don’t know what I’ll be working with.

  “Oh, wow,” I mutter when I see the size of the man’s penis.

  It’s huge.

  I wonder how big Jaxon is. I bet he’s massive. Even if he’s not, I don’t mind. I’m not going to discriminate. But I’m betting on him being absolutely perfect. I turn the volume up and sit back on my pillow, watching these two go at each other, the man fucking her from behind. There definitely wasn’t any of this heat in my bedroom. None. I don’t want to think of how much of an idiot I was to stay so long, but there’s no point looking back now, that time has passed. I can’t get it back, so I just need to learn from it.

  “Oooooh!”

  The woman starts moaning really loudly, in a bit of a fake way, so I roll my eyes. However, I can’t deny that I’m a little turned on. I want Jaxon’s hands on me, and I want to see him naked. I want to explore his body, and I just hope I can be confident enough to be what he wants. No, not even that, I want to be confident enough to be who I want to be. I want to own every move I make, my sexuality, and I know it’s going to take a little time, but I’m going to get there. I make another note on the list to buy some new lingerie.

  “Scarlett?” I hear Jaxon say, making my head snap up. I glance up to see him standing in my room. What the hell? “Your front door was open, I got worried.”

  He glances down at my laptop, and I want to die.

  No, seriously, is it too late to go to jail?

  “Are you watching porn?” he asks, trying to keep a straight face. I slam my laptop closed, my notepad going flying, and of course he picks it up. It’s just that kind of day. He reads it out loud. “Blow job techniques.” He lowers it and arches his brow. “With and without foreskin. Sexy lingerie.”

  I cover my face with my hands. “You had to read that out loud?”

  “Aw, come on now,” he says, sitting down on my bed like he’s been in my room a million times before. “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s cute.” He pauses and grins. “And a little hilarious.”

  I give him a death stare. “We’re going to pretend this never happened, okay?”

  “Okay,” he murmurs, ducking his head, probably because he can’t stop smiling. He looks at me then, expression contained, and says. “Everyone watches porn.”

  “Yeah, but not everyone gets caught by the guy they like during their first time watching it,” I blurt, groaning with self-pity. He wraps his arm around me and brings me to his body.

  Safe.

  Warm.

  He’s teasing me, but he’s not belittling me.

  This is a safe place.

  I squint up at him, daring to look him in the eye after this whole ordeal. He just grins, kisses me on the forehead and whispers, “No foreskin over here.”

  I groan, and fall back on the bed.

  I need a do-over.

  chapter 15

  Jaxon

  DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE coming.

  When I found her door unlocked and a little open, I panicked. I didn’t think; I just rushed in to make sure she was okay. When I saw her on the bed watching porn, a little notepad next to her . . . Fuck, she’s so cute. Was she taking notes on how to be a better lover? Does she think she isn’t one? Now I’m the one making a note to make sure she’s comfortable in anything we do—if we get to that point—and to pay attention to her closely. I want her to feel like she’s the most beautiful woman on earth, and I don’t want her to be shy or question herself. She has a sensuality about her I don’t think she’s aware of. And if she learns to use it, it could be a deadly weapon.

  “Is there anything you want to talk about?” I ask her, as we stand from her bed and head into the kitchen. The reason I came here in the first place is because I was going to surprise her with lunch I got from a really nice restaurant near my office.

  “No,” she says quickly, color heating her cheeks.

  “Okay,” I reply, not wanting to push her. “If you ever want to talk I’m here, and it can be about anything. No judgment, all right?”

  She nods, still looking miserable. I hope the food cheers her up. “I brought you lunch.”

  “You did?” she asks, eyes widening.

  “I did. I ate your leftovers for breakfast so I decided to get something for us to eat together while I’m on my break.”

  A break I’ll probably be late returning from. And then no doubt I’ll be getting more shit from Kat and Tristan. Soon I’m sure Hunter and Yvonne will get on board too.

  She opens the bag, smiling. “It smells delicious. I love Chinese.”

  “I’m glad. It would’ve sucked if you hated it.”

  She grabs two plates and forks and serves the rice onto the plate for each of us. “How has your morning been?”

  “Not as good as yours,” I snicker, unable to help myself. I know I shouldn’t tease her, but that’s my nature. I’m quite playful, and I enjoy banter, so she needs to learn that I don’t mean it in a spiteful way
. She needs to give me shit back, and know it’s just for fun.

  “Jaxon!” she groans, then squares her shoulders. “Fine, I was looking for tips I could use in bed. The last man I had sex with was an idiot, so sue me.”

  There’s my girl. She’s growing bolder, and I like it.

  I grin and nod. “Exactly. You’re going to be perfect in bed for the right guy, Scarlett. You have nothing to worry about.”

  She pauses, considering my words, then says quietly, “Darren used to say that I’m cold and frigid in bed. What if you think the same?”

  Anger fuels me over her words about Darren. “Let me tell you something, sweetheart. There’s no way that’s true. Darren was a coward. He tried to keep you down because he knew you were better than him. If there were problems in the bedroom, it was because of him, not you.” I take her hand and bring it to my lips, placing a kiss there.

  Her hazel eyes widen. “Thank you for saying that, Jaxon.”

  “It’s the truth,” I tell her, then add, “you sound a little confident that we’re going to end up in bed together. Do you know something I don’t?”

  She sighs and groans, “And you were doing so well.”

  I can’t help the deep chuckle that escapes me. “I’m just playing with you. It’s fine. I like that you want to be good at that craft.”

  “Thought we were going to pretend this never happened?” she reminds me, her tone dryer than ever before. I’ve never seen her get angry or lose her temper, her emotions are always held tightly inside. I wonder if or when she will snap. The more time we spend together, I’m sure the more of her I’ll get to see. She can’t be so poised and perfect all the time . . . I want to see her rough edges too. And I want to let her know that it’s fine to be that way. It’s normal. Human.

  “Right, I forgot,” I say, taking a bite of the food.

  “How convenient,” she mutters, tasting her own. “This is amazing. Where is it from?”

  “A place near my office. I go there for lunch sometimes. Pretty good, isn’t it?”

  She agrees with a moan, and a nod. “So good. Thank you for bringing me some.”

  “Anytime.”

  Especially because I got to walk in on her watching porn.

  One thing I’ll never mention to her is the sight of her watching made me hard as a rock. I don’t think she noticed, she was too busy being extremely embarrassed at being caught, but fuck. I don’t even know how I walked out of that room when all I wanted to do was show her a firsthand lesson.

  “Jaxon,” she croons after a few more bites.

  “Yes,” I reply, lifting my head to her to give her my full attention.

  “When’s the last time you had sex?” she asks, keeping her eyes on me.

  My eyebrows rise. Not a question I thought she’d be asking. “I think it’s been about six weeks now. Why do you ask?”

  “Just curious,” she says, licking her fork. “Who was it with?”

  “Just a woman I was seeing,” I tell her, wondering where she’s going with this. “She wasn’t my girlfriend, or anything, it was just casual. I’m usually too busy with work for anything more than that.”

  “Yet you’re at my house in the middle of the day having lunch with me,” she points out, a cute smirk on her face. “I think you could make time if you wanted.”

  I bark out a laugh, loving her boldness. “I guess you’re right. Maybe all it takes is the right woman.”

  That either satisfies her questions, or just shuts her up, because she eats the rest of her food quietly. I check my watch and curse. “I’d better get going.”

  “Okay,” she says as we both stand, and wraps her arms around me. “Thank you for lunch.”

  I kiss the top of her head. I have too much work to see her tonight, but I ask her what she’s doing tomorrow night.

  “Nothing,” she says, glancing up at me. “Why?”

  “I thought I’d take you out for dinner and a movie. What do you think?”

  I always remember that night she went out by herself, and I want to take her on a date. Who knows when the last time she’s even been on one. I’ll let her choose the movie. Shit, I’m even willing to sit through some chick flick for her. I must really like her. I know there’s this whole conflict-of-interest issue, but technically her charges were dropped and I’m not her lawyer anymore, right? Right? Fuck, I’m even trying to justify it to myself.

  “Sounds perfect,” she beams, her eyes lighting up.

  “I’ll come get you about seven,” I say, cupping her cheek, smiling at her, and then leaving. She probably thinks I’m being a tease or giving her mixed signals, but I just want to take things slowly. I want her to be sure about what she wants. We have all the time in the world; there’s no rush to the finish line.

  “You can continue what you were doing before I got here,” I call out to her. “And just so you know, I’m a fan of blow jobs.”

  I can hear her mutter, “Oh my god,” making me laugh.

  I can’t remember the last time I felt so light, so happy.

  I think I’m onto something here.

  chapter 16

  Scarlett

  I’LL NEVER ADMIT IT, but after he leaves and I clean up, I do keep watching the video. And I watch one on how to give good head, and I mentally remember exactly what to do.

  I’m going to blow him away.

  Literally.

  I’m going on a date with him tomorrow night, and I’m so happy I can hardly contain myself. What should I wear? I ­haven’t been on a date in years. Darren stopped taking me out when he started doing drugs. I don’t know how he got into them, but eventually he became addicted to meth, which is when the abuse really began. He changed into a person I didn’t know anymore. I push thoughts of Darren out of my head and concentrate on the present.

  On Jaxon.

  Will he kiss me tomorrow night?

  I touch my lips and wonder what his lips will be like. I don’t mean to sound ridiculous, but the word magical keeps popping into my head.

  I know his kiss is going to make me weak.

  “YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL” IS the first thing he says to me.

  He thinks I’m beautiful.

  I smile.

  “You’re early” is the first thing I say back. I then add a “thank you,” to not sound so rude.

  “I know,” he says, eyeing my black dress, from top to bottom. “Perhaps I wanted to catch you off guard.”

  I roll my eyes and smile at the same time. “Come on in. I just need to finish doing my makeup.”

  “You don’t need any makeup,” he says, taking my chin between his fingers and gently turning my head from side to side. “Perfect as you are.”

  “I know I don’t need it, but I want it,” I say, cringing when I realize how that sounded. “I haven’t been on a date in a long time, so I want to look pretty for it, and put in a little more effort than usual.”

  He runs his thumb across my lower lip. The man is clearly trying to kill me.

  “Take your time. We’re in no rush,” he says, winking at me. “I’ll just answer some work emails while I’m waiting.”

  He sits on the couch and pulls out his phone.

  “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “Nope, I’m good,” he says, waving me off. “Don’t worry about me.”

  Not possible.

  I rush back to my room and finish with my makeup, then grab my bag and put on my heels. When I walk out to meet him, he stands up and gives me another once-over. “I take that back. You’re more than beautiful tonight, Scarlett. You look absolutely stunning.”

  Darren never gave me his attention like this, never complimented me. He never bothered trying to make me feel special at all. If anything, he would’ve criticized something about my outfit, or would have told me I need to cover up more becaus
e I looked like a whore.

  But Jaxon, he looks like he means it. Every kind word.

  I duck my head, not used to hearing compliments, feeling the heat hit my cheeks. “Thank you. You look pretty amazing yourself.”

  He offers me his hand, and, without question, I take it.

  For someone like me who has been through what I have, that one action is everything.

  We walk to his BMW and he opens the door for me like he always does, then closes it once I’m in safely.

  I personally think every woman needs a man like Jaxon, because it feels so good to be treated like I’m worth something. It’s indescribable. I don’t know if other women are just used to it so they take it for granted, but I know that I never will. I know what it’s like to be on the other end, and I think it’s just going to make me appreciate all the good things life has to offer even more.

  “You never told me what restaurant we’re going to,” I say, glancing at him, feeling a mixture of excited and nervous. “What type of food do they have? Or what movie are we seeing?”

  “We’re going to see whatever you want to see. There are about five that start at the same time. And for dinner I’m taking you to my favorite Italian restaurant,” he explains, reaching over and gently holding my hand as he drives. I’m not used to this casual affection, so I never thought I needed it. But Jaxon is showing me that there is so much that I want and need. “You don’t like surprises, do you?”

  “I liked when you surprised me with the flowers, so maybe I do,” I say, smiling at him. “I’m just curious, that’s all. And excited.”

  “Good,” he murmurs. “How was your day?”

  “It was good. I did a little shopping, then did more work in the garden. How was yours?” I ask him back. I know he’s probably not allowed to talk much about his cases or anything like that, and I wouldn’t expect him to.

  “Not bad. Got two new cases. Should keep me busy.”

  “Do you ever take time off and go on vacation or anything?” I ask, wondering if his life is just his job. He’s clearly a workaholic, and I don’t know what he does in his free time to relax.